Friday, November 26, 2010

Welcome-No Vacancy


No Vacancy
Strings of thread attached to every limb,
Just another face in the crowd.
But to open the box and free the sorrow,
Now all we have is goodbye.
You are here, Welcome dear.
I love you Mother
Arms wide open.
I see your heart,
Why do you walk away?
There is a moment and then eternity,
When we see His love reigning in our lives.
I want to show you, not push you away.


When you take a closer look at this solo picture of her you will notice a vacancy in her eyes. It was not acting. I would often try looking into her eyes, and she would avert them to directly keep herself busy. This was a fear of belonging, that I lived with for years. Her own hauntings would continue until she found someone to love again, somewhere to be again, a safety after we left.
I was 4 when we celebrated our return home from here. This was our new life and hometown now. During a walk through the local mall, a photographer caught my attention. He was asking us to dress up! My Grandmother insisted that this would be fun. So I eagerly stripped off all my clothes, and to my shock pulled on the scratchy material. I did not notice the protests my mother said, or portrayed in her body language. It was fun to me while it lasted.
Today was a Thanksgiving day when I missed my extended family. I prepared a feast on the countertop in a portable oven. A roasted bird was presented to my family with the eagerness of the first meal ever made in our home. It felt just as if this second Thanksgiving that we celebrated was actually a Welcome Home. We belong here; we are safe, loved, and protected.
Grateful to have my family together.
Blessed beyond measure.


Colleen said...

Beautiful post.
I think you're very perceptive.
I wish you many many more happy thanksgivings and hope that this year is filled with blessings for you and your family.

Kmarie said...

I'm sorry. She does have that look. I guess we all do from time to time. I am guilty of that look too at times.
I am glad you turned toughness into stability and beauty. You are protected , safe and loved- in your family and in our friendship:)

I love you. Lean on me if you need to:)

just sayin' said...

I love your perceptions. Your ability analyze and move forward. you are stronger than you think. Inspiring actually! xo

whimsys otherside said...

i love you so much. i wish i didnt know about that look, but i too have looked into "those eyes" as a child, the blessing is that having seen it as a child we make sure our own children see so much more in our mama eyes.