Sunday, March 16, 2008

Chances are....

I will second guess this
I will make a mistake
I will be emotional
I will not finish

Believe me....

I want to share
I am inspired
I have lots of chances
I can finish

How come....

I second guess
I make mistakes
I am emotional
I choose to not finish


There is this time now where inspiration is only
fleeting and driven by emotions.
Where mistakes are the building blocks
for everyday and I am
And I do not want to
finish but keep going with what
I am given everyday so that
in what I choose today will be
remembered tomorrow.

Friday, March 07, 2008

Time vs. Times

What makes me think I cannot be patient tears me apart deep down inside.
It is not that time is a friend,
but that I can learn too much all at once and then
all there is left is the time to let it all sink in.
When I was a little girl I would wish for time to go by faster,
I was afraid that if I stayed in this time, right now,
I would stay there forever.
I miss the adventures that came so naturally.
Walking down paths that led to no where.
Climbing muddy hills and finding hidden treasures buried where others played so long ago.
When I was a little older, probably 10 I wanted to run faster
have the time go slower so that all the races that I ran in would be victorious.
As the teens came and I experienced first crushes,
and aching hurts there were times I wanted to just stop time and hide away.
The teens wore on and the angst got worse and there was a time I never wanted to see time again. Oh what joy it would have been if I could just close my eyes and....
At 15 I decided to leave home, tried to come home a year later and then never returned.
So my joy now is celebrating time with my family that surround our home everyday. What did we do today? What made us happy, how about sad?
My son asked me today who is going to take care of him and his brothers and sister if mommy and daddy die. I had no answer, I had no time. He tried to suggest good couples that love our family and I just froze. Had I ever thought of that when I was a child?
Had I stopped to notice how many people cared and prayed for me so regularly.
My child has stopped and has thought of it and is grateful.
So now as time has sped up faster than I would have ever imagined, I just want to stop and hope time gives me a chance to grasp all that is happening around me.
And say I love this time Lord,
thank you*