Wandering moments on Wednesday

Break the rain

Waiting for the rain to break
& the sun to shine.
When it's best to grasp the positive joys of the days.
If we can still laugh
when the hours are long
& the sanity is thrown out the window, then it's less of a funk
& more of a double rainbow.




What is dead may be dormant, and what is barren may be about to bear, and wild things can somehow find a way to bloom. ~Ann Voskamp

Summer craft wishes

When I looked through our craft closet this week it was very evident that we have had more focus on yarns and paper this year. So many trinkets and soon to be crafts are waiting to be made. So with the help of pinterest, I will share some ideas!



Painting. & this one was found hiding away with lost treasures.



Earrings made from upcycled leather. The middles could be a soft crochet line or beaded.




Crochet rings. The backs could be soft leather.




Too fun & cute. I can just imagine the kids ideas with these.




Just the leather scraps with a few beads mixed in.




Necklace made with little rocks, a charm & soft feathers.




I had my first spontaneous lake swim of the Summer today! Exhilarating.

Fathers Day Card

"You're going to be a dad"
The words they felt as liquid gold, for the very first time pouring out of me, speaking softly into the phone.
Stop thinking, it will happen all too fast.
The months of waiting.
Loss & gain.
Tears
then regaining hope.
Fresh memories awash the here & now.
First cries fill the room of delivery
& we know.
Together.
This is the beginning of forever.
Years they pass just through a sieve, as I watch each child grow from being in your arms,
nursed by me,
into full board steam ahead.
Ready to take the world by storm.
Times 4.
A baby, toddler, preschooler, elementary..to be continued.
Remembering when the oldest could rest in the crook of your arm.
Asleep in the bliss of your strength, your comfort.
Each one meets the world and watches you.
You who is quiet and assured. Who questions beyond the questions.
Thankfulness comes in waves, yet storms bring in Aftermath too.



For the dreams that shape as the years go by.
The moments when you know this is: "hey! I can do it."
One day at a time.
The children run to you with cards.
With words.
All sharing that which is,
Music to my ears.
Daddy.
You.

Who I Am

A Child and then a Mother.

Who can watch my children every moment of everyday and hope for more.

A Woman and then a Wife.

Who can say to my husband that he is steadfast, and believe wholeheartedly that he is.

A student and then a teacher.

Hopefully to myself first, and then to my children.

A listener and then a friend.

Keeping words that feel so sacred, and yet so very healing.

A moment and then a lifetime.

Waiting.

Prayers are hoped for.

Words are spoken.

Dreams are lingering, and words are written.

Behind the walls you find me hoping.

There are ones who believe they will see through it one day.

Who will find the cracks in the foundation.

Praying that each day, will bring a new discovery.

That I will know that there is no end to free love.

While the waves wash over the ridges smoothing visible scars
Time flows

My sons hug and my daughter smiles.

My Husband comes along side and watches the world with a different view.

In all this life there is a sigh of relief that all that is now is
grace.

Inner Child

Precious gems are everywhere in the cosmos
and inside of every one of us.

I want to offer a handful to you, my dear friend.
Yes, this morning, I want to offer a handful to you,
A handful of diamonds that glow from morning to evening.
Each minute of our daily life is a diamond that contains sky
and earth,
sunshine and river.

We only need to breathe gently for the miracle to be revealed:
Birds singing, flowers blooming.

Here is the blue sky, here is the white cloud floating,
Your lovely look, your beautiful smile.
All these are contained in one jewel.

You who are the richest person on Earth
And behave like a destitute child,
Please come back to your heritage.

Let us offer each other happiness and learn to
Dwell in the present moment.
Let us cherish life in our two arms
And let go of our forgetfulness and despair.

-Thich Nhat Hanh

Silence

Deep within the archives

Let your dreams rise up like the sun in the morning
with it's fierce heat warming the earth.
A thankful prayer for the land that is lost
in a whirlwind of deep freeze moments.
Ice crystals falling.
Hard & fast
yet with the quick wit that we know it will go away.
To flourish with green..one day.. one day.

Years have passed and still I bear the scars of the lies, untold truths.
What was once lost was my childhood wonder.
Innocence beyond the imaginary friends.
Beyond the belief that some one is there to protect
to believe in me.
Start point.
Counseling.
5 years.
Still questions.

Its been awhile since I revisited
Fears, Frustration and lack of Trust.
What I want to say to those insecurities that creep out of the dark
take me in the middle of the day
then again in the deep slumber of my early hours of sleep
is this

I am 10, 20, 30 years older now.
I have the Gospel
& Jesus has my back.
There is no place for any of these untruths in my life!

Each of my sons need to know that as men they will be needed.
Called on for their strength, their fierce dignity, the respect of another individual.
& then caring for their wives and children.

My daughter needs to believe that her true being was designed to always have an inner beauty.
So treasured that it will be drawn out by those that want to seek the mystery of her.
She will be a woman and then a wife, and will one day hopefully Mother children.
Her years will tell many stories.
Of hope and redemption.

My Husband is someone that I long to know. every. day.
I want to be apart of his great adventure, as his bride.

These nightmares that lie to me, in some ways I hang on to them as memories. That was long ago when I needed someone so close and had no way of reaching out, to accept any of the kind gestures.
I faked happiness
masked sorrow very well.
I believed that there was no one who delighted in my joy
as I leaped into their arms.
no one.
The ache that was left, filled with Grace.
My soul. I am here. weeping. Day after day my aches subside.

Deep within the archives are peace filled Whispers.
"Are you ready to give it all up?
Well then, Hallelujah! Now God can take over."

Dear Lord, I will continue to live my life, praying, but unless you take over I will just continue to stumble. Please be my strength and help me rest peacefully. I know that You are for me, throughout this journey of life. I praise you for continuing to hold a light on my life, so that in turn instead of carrying my own burdens..
You take them away. Amen.


#417

Since last we turned the page

When I was a child, music flowed through my mind as soft and curly as an August wind. If I heard it in the trees, the swaying and swishing would transport me to the hills, where we would feel free to roll in the grass. Then begin to spin with the floating dandelion fluff. If I pressed my ear to the ground I would imagine little fairies that may fly high out from their homes in the blades of grass. Walking through the forests we would have a lightness in our step as we played hide and seek behind brush, leaves and evergreen forts.
There are moments when we recreate that feeling, the emotion behind our child like imagination. I am forever grateful for those treasures that were planted as seeds in time.

*remembering summer dances



*laying in the grass bathed in sun.
*playing in innocence
*twirling
*August wind
*inside forts
*tree forts
*clubhouses
*trampolines
*imagination
*hours flying by
*purple playdoh
*peanut butter press down cookies
*11 year old ideas
*9 year old dreams
*6 year old ambitions
*3 year old stories
*34 year old goals
*Years together
*seeing the ocean like an old friend
*precious lost time
*gaining speed and running with creativity
*Sunday siestas snuggling soundly

This Moment Lasts

Music & bread go hand in hand.
Lots of music is being played &
created here at our home.
A new love of making bread from
scratch & by hand has started up.
A concert in the making!
The creative hands that a flow music.
I believe my children are enjoying
this groove in our life,
& so am I.

New Years Eve

Red Doors

Opening the many red doors that happen when we take risks.
Joining creativity together,
with the fusions of friendships.
This trip away was a sense of quieting, within my heart.
A joy in new discoveries.
& a renewed hope in the next chapters.
The days past poetically with rapid speed,
yet the trip needed to end.
Distance makes the heart grow fonder both near & far..

Welcome home ~ Welcome memories ~ 178 <> 240

:: with my eyes*
I saw a girl having a tea party
through pictures.
*With a 'missing you' look in her eyes.

*Genuine smiles.

*Family on a spontaneous Skype night
that pull out all the stops to chat & entertain.

:: with my ears*
I heard the voices of my family
through the miles.

*New sounds created from the mouth of a baby boy.
*Playing with him each day as we watched him grow.

*The giggles of a little girl chasing her puppy around the home.
*Then in pausing, she hugged gently
& whispered she was beautiful.

:: with my tastes*
*Fresh Atlantic lobsters.
*Experienced sushi made with fish caught fresh within hours.
*Delighted in fresh homemade banana beggars..a few times.

:: I shared insightful moments with friends*
that I have had the honor of knowing for years.
*Deep meaningful moments shared.. all gracious.

*Watched a beautiful moment as she tried on the hand-knit sweater for her, then again with more friends.

*Resting on a moss covered rock with ducks
surrounding the ripples of stillwater lake.

*Listened to locals talking about life, weather & work.
*Watched children with their parents indulge in donuts.
*They were covered and sticky
& were as happy as anyone has ever been.

*Drove the countryside.

*Visited the ocean.

*We walked in busy traffic within a quiet neighborhood.

*I lived for the day.

*Wrote many pages.

*I dreamed time away.

*Stretched distance as far as I could go.

*Breathed in peacefully.

*Softly touched all kinds of malabrigo yarns.

*I've seen many days of snow, of rain...it drizzled on down.

*When the sun came out, we could see the bay through the trees.

*Explored the streets of Halifax.

*Videoed random areas that captured my attention.

*Listened to fine tuned advice, from the managers of Starbucks,
a postal worker
& knitters that spin at yarn shops.

*These snippets also captured moments to join in multitudes on Mondays.

Fireplaces**Cedar**Trees
*Chapters
Red*
*Curls
Daylight**Savings**Time
Start points*
*Long walks
Solitary day trips**Finding my way
*Friendly help offering phone numbers
Fishermen*
*Shipyards**Bridges
*Dharma Toro Sushi
Clock Towers*
*Argyle
Fresh snow**Branches
Friends who unconditionally love through the miles here & there.*
*Video & Photo opportunities
Running in the rain with lobsters.*

Wings ready & wide open

Still waiting for one last moment to open up.
Still trying to wrap my mind around this.
This time.
This moment.
A gift




& then it all happened.
The doors close behind them
waving goodbye
still misty eyes.


Bye for now
see you later.
Take my hand one more time
it will be awhile.



Love you long time.

*108 <> 177*

*Waving**Hearts knit together
*Paint**Warm sweater dresses
*Stitched Slings**Socks
*Jumping dresses**Purple colors




*Farmer's Markets**Lunenburg, NS
*Mahone Bay**Public Gardens
*Wool Shops**Writing
*Reading**Kindred Friends
*New Babies**Family
*Brown eyes**Blue Eyes



*Cheese**Rawthentic Chocolate
*Dill**Maple Wine
*Jost Vineyards**Gluten free banana beggars
*Swing needles**Loft cafes
*Highland wool**Books



*Standby flights**Planes
*Airports**CSA
*Cell phones**WiFi**3G**Waiting
*Sunny nooks**Napping**Guest beds
*Fresh snow**Warm weather**Walkabouts
*Lakeside picnics**Inspiration
*Text messages**Saved pictures



*Play-dates**Birthday Parties
*Long days**Short afternoons
*Sleepy nights**Calm
*Tea parties**Connections
*Boats



*Atlantic street names**Brisk Walks
*Scarves**Hats
*Curious children
*Vendors
*Blackberry Brew
*Sea glass jewelry
*Real rrrrollling r
*Multi colored homes
*Still Water Lake
*Canadian Geese that flock to little hands scattering crumbs.
*A little time to share

Ragged Hearts

Thank you Karin, for this Quilt.
For sharing a heart pouring over with the love language of this gift.
I love you.
Through the years you have known me, read my words, your friendship truly encourages many aspects in life.

"Some of the hearts I sewed are misshapen, lop-sided, not very much like hearts! But then I thought of all the many, many hearts you have connection with. Some of our hearts are ragged, some lop-sided, some misshapen!"

Until the day I really knew it was time to open up, to start writing.
Through the moments, I would try so hard to hide this heart.

It's in the broken places that we see healing.
As it reaches and churns from the depths of our memories.

Flee or flight had been a theme for the walls that had been gathered around myself.

Protecting a heart.
This ragged heart.

On the seventh day God had finished his work of creation, so he rested from all his work. Genesis 2:2

6 days.

As each stitch was added to this grand masterpiece of a world that we all live in.

Just to have all the time of eternity to give thought to how full this creation really can be, must have been breathtaking!

We are created beautifully and wonderfully.

This heart of ours is hidden and divided.
Placed back together tenderly, lovingly by the Creator.

Someone that not only holds us but takes our hand,
cups our face, takes us back to the cross to show us.

This is how much I love you.

How far I would stretch to the ends of the earth
to be with you
to hold you
to save you.

We are reminded & know the feeling of a scar, as our hands are held in His.
Another layer of skin that covers but does not hide; a scar that is now, perfectly ragged.

When he had received the drink, Jesus said, "It is finished." With that, he bowed his head and gave up his spirit. -John 19:30


Starting fresh is in the depth & width of the words pouring through an intricately written book of Truth.

Snow falling fresh, staying, lingering during the cold months of this winter. What more can we cover, how much longer can we rest?

As the snow begins to melt and the wind blows in a dusting from the caps of nearby mountains.

I wait.

Freedom to place these pieces back together.
Grace to keep picking them up. Honesty to share the whole truth.


Freedom to give love tenderly from this ragged heart.

It’s in the ways we Love

**June 14, 1997**15 Valentines Days together**4 skip years

**5596 days flew by after our eyes met for the first time.

**The early morning coffee brewed perfectly just in time.

**Little notes found on the computer**Text messages on our phone

**The favourite toque that I knit and you wear for everyone to see.

**Love songs written for me and sung by you for everyone to hear.

**Our children that laugh and run and play**Late night talks

**Tea time at midnight**Heart shaped egg breakfasts**Just because

**Pictures together**Walks along this path of life

**An open screen to write**107. Counting the ways that we love.

Bundles of Love

73*  A new doll sling to hold a lovey close.

74*  Patches of sunlight to capture hopeful warmth.

75*  Cut out hearts, bits of ribbon, and wool for treasured gifts.

76*  Moments of truth that speak to our hearts.

77*  New friends.

78*  Love languages.

79*  Writing memoirs, in my head.

80*  Words of affirmation.

81*  Anticipated reads, new books, and trips to the library.

82*  One Thousand Gifts

83*  Made to Crave

84*  Thin Places

85*  Noteworthy Quotes.

86*  My children as they grasp my hand, trying not to slip on the ice.

87*  With their eyes shut tight and cheeks rosy from smiling so long.

88*  & I hold them close.

89*  Each picture that writes a thousand words.