Creating a habit

I unravel sweaters to re-knit almost every time. Notes aside, if the sweater is not perfect, I start all over again.


It is an artful expression from deep within. Taking time for every little stitch, to be well thought through & presented with ease.


When my Grandma first showed
me how to hold the needles, we
would sit across from each other. Her right hand strong, my lefthand dominating.
To knit one scarf: Took over 7 years. & then over again as I tried to learn the
Art well.


As we waited by Grandma's side those last days of her full life, I would knit..for hours. Though she was right there & I by the bedside. The knitting brought those last hours of
Peace within our time.
Around & around we turn the full cycle, merry go round in life. No one knows how the inner workings of a brain works but as I found out today: being an ISFP personality suits these aspects just as a fine tuned piano.

Over the next weeks I am inviting Daryl to join me, to accompany my words with his own music. We will start on his Birthday. October 21. The day we met 16 years ago.
I am honored that he will be here in this space with me. If you know him, this expression is as much kept to the private inner workings of his life as the music that flows through to compose his Own piece.
The idea for this season is a reflection of
Traveling light..er.

Planting memory seeds

Today, in memory of lost little footprints, I want to take another day to enjoy building childhood memories.

You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,
as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
You saw me before I was born.
Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.

Psalm 139

What if..

I had a nightmare once that I woke up with only my supper from the night before.
Sitting at the table staring at day old perogies, with nothing to be thankful for now..
What if I woke up without the children I have watched grow every day, some hours feeling like eternity.
Without the husband, who is a strong devoted, faithful father. Who I argue with sometimes.
Without the house, with the comfy furniture.
& the table that occasionally has a meal that almost everyone would rather not eat.
Without the bed that I have tossed & turned in and sometimes curse at how uncomfortable the pillow is, or loud the snoring is.
Without the mounds of food waiting for me to cook, even when I second guess my abilities.
There are more than a million things, or acts we can be thankful for.
When our neighbors are waking up from earthquakes, tsunamis, landslides, floods: They are praising the Lord for life.
Soldiers are not returning, leaving hearts aching.
Children are being stolen, tearing apart the consciousness & causing insanity that no parent should ever have to fathom.
Homes are being repossessed, leaving families homeless. Domestic violence is continuing, creating memories that torment children for a lifetime.
Stories being told of hidden lives, burning histories & daily grace.
What if we just woke up everyday..

7!

Dear Kai ::
Love you to the universe & back!
7 years has gone by too quickly. Celebrating you in your spunky, & even quiet ways is what made your day a treasure to remember. Happy Birthday!

Red 'Elvis' Cupcakes & Moments

A Cakery road trip.


Delicioso!


Big brother Puppet show
-5 little Monkey's


First day of School.
Who's more excited?!


Last days of Camping, sun & rafting.


Bubbling the afternoon away.


New friends


Favorite tea time


Making our own.








A walk to remember


The best days are now.
& I am thankful for sweet friends who pray, love truly & see us near or far with gifts to give away.


All content smiles, of knowing this life is well loved.

August Journeys

She had been suffering UTI's
& a kidney infection for months. We travelled to the Alberta Childrens Hospital a few times & were waiting for results..
all Summer.

The events of Summer included many road trips, & late nights. We laughed a lot, lived for the days & loved well into the nights.

As the month of August moved on; Azaelea began to show signs
of weakness in her legs, lethargy, dehydration
& the bubbly personality waned as she chose to be quiet, cuddled, rocked & sang to.


Then the fevers began to be consistent. Every night we would hear her cries as she woke to a fever of 104-107.
Always subsiding by morning, without any drugs.
One morning after many over the phone consults, we opted to not
give her the maintenance low dose antibiotics.
& the fever lasted 12 hours..
As worried parents we decided to band together along with teamwork from the nursing staff, we admitted her for 2 days in our local General Hospital.
They took urine, cultures, blood, (all twice) & she stayed on a IV the entire time.
After 54 hours on her IV, we waited for the approval to discharge her.
Choosing the better route (for us) to wait for further signs at
Home.
Our interim Dr. Agreed that if there were any worse
Symptoms to follow up at the ACH.


Today after 3 whole
Days of September.
No accidents or
Fevers.


She is back to her dancing, giddy, doll carrying, friend loving, singing self.
Azaelea is going through the motions everyday & growing stronger. We're moved by our community of praying family.
Though we have absolutely no clues as of yet, your support speaks volumes to us.

Thank you All, with Love!

Only you know

Before you read this: I can tell you this is for you.. but only you know this for sure.

Behind her eyes she found a safe place.
Longing deep
striving quick.
Promising to keep the many vows of a little girls heart
forever.
Gasp now.
The dive down deep has hurt your heart.

This time

..too many times..
you have not reached the floor bed of the water.
Engulfing your true being.
Catching a glimpse of the young you.

There waiting.

For the letter you wrote her.
The vows you kept long ago.
She is waiting for confirmation.
In the long last draws of breath.
Within the water.
Where we breath fresh, in the air.
There you catch a glimpse of the look
in her eyes.

Only you knew.

Who Knew
how long?

When the ice would start to melt.
The years where you skated over the dreams,
that lay frozen in an ice capped memory.
In the sky there were no limits.
The happy endings always came true.

Along the starry nights
when the lines were drawn
& the cracks began to show.
A decade
or 2
have seeped through.
A year here
a reoccurring dream there.

How does it write deep on your soul?

She knew.
You knew.
Who knew?
Only you.

Little truths,
simple & catching,
drew on the strength of bigger truths.
Building a strong foundation.
These bigger truths that consumed took apart into shattered remnants.
What was left
is all the simplicity of knowing the next steps, will be built.
In writing.

A Wednesday treasure.

A new ring to celebrate:
the many years remembered, behind us now.
& the many more ahead
.... to be continued.

Wandering moments on Wednesday

Break the rain

Waiting for the rain to break
& the sun to shine.
When it's best to grasp the positive joys of the days.
If we can still laugh
when the hours are long
& the sanity is thrown out the window, then it's less of a funk
& more of a double rainbow.




What is dead may be dormant, and what is barren may be about to bear, and wild things can somehow find a way to bloom. ~Ann Voskamp

Summer craft wishes

When I looked through our craft closet this week it was very evident that we have had more focus on yarns and paper this year. So many trinkets and soon to be crafts are waiting to be made. So with the help of pinterest, I will share some ideas!



Painting. & this one was found hiding away with lost treasures.



Earrings made from upcycled leather. The middles could be a soft crochet line or beaded.




Crochet rings. The backs could be soft leather.




Too fun & cute. I can just imagine the kids ideas with these.




Just the leather scraps with a few beads mixed in.




Necklace made with little rocks, a charm & soft feathers.




I had my first spontaneous lake swim of the Summer today! Exhilarating.

Fathers Day Card

"You're going to be a dad"
The words they felt as liquid gold, for the very first time pouring out of me, speaking softly into the phone.
Stop thinking, it will happen all too fast.
The months of waiting.
Loss & gain.
Tears
then regaining hope.
Fresh memories awash the here & now.
First cries fill the room of delivery
& we know.
Together.
This is the beginning of forever.
Years they pass just through a sieve, as I watch each child grow from being in your arms,
nursed by me,
into full board steam ahead.
Ready to take the world by storm.
Times 4.
A baby, toddler, preschooler, elementary..to be continued.
Remembering when the oldest could rest in the crook of your arm.
Asleep in the bliss of your strength, your comfort.
Each one meets the world and watches you.
You who is quiet and assured. Who questions beyond the questions.
Thankfulness comes in waves, yet storms bring in Aftermath too.



For the dreams that shape as the years go by.
The moments when you know this is: "hey! I can do it."
One day at a time.
The children run to you with cards.
With words.
All sharing that which is,
Music to my ears.
Daddy.
You.

Who I Am

A Child and then a Mother.

Who can watch my children every moment of everyday and hope for more.

A Woman and then a Wife.

Who can say to my husband that he is steadfast, and believe wholeheartedly that he is.

A student and then a teacher.

Hopefully to myself first, and then to my children.

A listener and then a friend.

Keeping words that feel so sacred, and yet so very healing.

A moment and then a lifetime.

Waiting.

Prayers are hoped for.

Words are spoken.

Dreams are lingering, and words are written.

Behind the walls you find me hoping.

There are ones who believe they will see through it one day.

Who will find the cracks in the foundation.

Praying that each day, will bring a new discovery.

That I will know that there is no end to free love.

While the waves wash over the ridges smoothing visible scars
Time flows

My sons hug and my daughter smiles.

My Husband comes along side and watches the world with a different view.

In all this life there is a sigh of relief that all that is now is
grace.