Monday, February 20, 2012

On Submission

Let me refrain for a moment, as you are thoughtfully provoked. Please write freely with no hesitation, & may I share? These close fragments are being pieced together as we keep diving in.


I feel the need to share my view on the subject of women and submission within the marriage. I believe there are a lot of misconceptions about what was truly meant and how it's supposed to look. I'm constantly shocked at what the church in general seems to say about women and submission, and to be perfectly honest, hearing the word "submission" conjures up an image of not a wife, not a partner, not a romance, but a servant.

The quote is "Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord." Read that carefully, because how you respond to that sentence says more about your image of who God is than it does about marriage. How do you submit to the Lord? Does he say "I want a sandwich and a backrub" and you say "okay". Or does he demand three meals a day on the table and quiet children upon his return from work? Does it mean that you must give up all desires of your heart because of this one verse? Is that really what it looks like to submit to Christ? Does God give you free choice as a non-believer but then demand your freedom back the moment you decide to become a Christian? Is that what Christ asks the church to do? Some people say yes, absolutely it does. I disagree.

For just a moment, forget everything you think you know about submission. Allow me to challenge the system, and try a different approach.
The fact is that Jesus loves you more than you can possibly fathom.
He desires you. He aches for you. He swam the ocean of death and tore down the gates of Hell to win your heart and as he suffers every imaginable pain to save you from endless imprisonment, this shining warrior knight who mysteriously loves you asks, "Will you submit yourself to me? Will you give yourself to me? Will you love me in return? Will you let me into your innermost places?"

Submitting is giving in to his relentless love, letting it into all the cracks. Allowing his love to pour over and through you filling every dark place with light.
The reason every girl loves princess stories of rescue and romance is because truthfully that's a lot closer to what God designed you for. To be romanced. You're not a slave, you're a bride. He didn't come to domesticate you, He came to rescue you from slavery.

To Women, please stop talking about the rules and methods of being submissive and just follow your heart. Give yourself to your husband. Trust him. Let him love you - that is, after all Pauls words to the husband, to love his wife as Christ loved the church. Be vulnerable to him. If you are a dominating kind of woman, understand that you are dominating because you are trying to protect your heart, but in doing so, it's nearly impossible for you to receive love. No wonder it's not working! Let go of the need to control everything and everyone in your sphere and you will find that love pours in. Receive it! Responding warmly to your husbands love brings him alive because you are helping him fulfill a purpose he was created for - to love.
-Daryl

7 comments:

The Tea Bag said...

One of the most persuasive arguments on this topic that I have heard. Thank you for this post.

mikki roo said...

Great post, Daryl! Sometimes it's the vulnerability, the letting go, that is so much harder than imposing rules upon ourselves... but so much more rewarding!! Kudos for putting it out there :)

Grandma K said...

thanks, Daryl! I so agree.....

We have developed such a wrong idea of 'submission' but it is 'good' when it is in line with God.

wil said...

I'm glad if this connects with people. There's a lot of pretty strong opinions about this subject!

Kmarie said...

Profound really. Needs to be spoken of more. I find this is how our marriage is and I LOVE it. It's beautiful and sometimes I feel very undeserving BUT yes, that point about what God is asking of us is so important. Thanks!

Alicia said...

KMarie :: true. It's a good note that we would have a connection with our similar views in this. Thank you for giving even more of a voice in your blog post today.

Marissa said...

Thanks for sharing these thoughts Daryl, my heart really heard them.