Sunday, October 28, 2012

Time after time I understand how many layers our hearts hold.




Our hearts hold layers just as a tree holds leaves. Each one falling slowly. Sometimes not at all welcomed, pushed along with the force of a gusty wind. Renewing our lives as we grow stronger and walk confidently. The roots grow deeper. Seemingly compared to the words we hear along the way. Carving and shaping not only ourselves but each one that we get to share our homes with.


This little pixie in the middle. We celebrate broken fevers, a sleep full night. A dry bed and an inch taller in her height. This almost 5 year old. I close my eyes sometimes and make wishes. One in which we will cherish these seemingly insurmountable accomplishments ~always.


When we travel through months & years of healing. Deep conversations sometimes hold the weight of the world. This moment:

Dear Son, I want to write you a letter. One that has taken a long time to write. I know that sometimes other people, even your friends, don't always have your best interests in mind. In your vulnerability more of your precious innocence has been lost. Your art was found in the wrong place. You are home with us, from school, to really let that sink in. To learn from this occasion. Thank you for your honesty. And for apologizing to all those that were affected. For this I am completely proud of you. We want to direct your art in a more positive direction. One day you'll know that we as your parents were there. And we understand. There are so many things tumbling around in my heart that I want to tell you. But for now let me sum it up: I love you. I appreciate you. I value your life. I believe you will lead an incredible life. An artist you are. You were created perfect by your Artist. Wholly, unconditionally loved. Please know always that you are not alone.

Love, Mom




8 comments:

my name is kimberley said...

Beautiful. As always. Like you.

The Tea Bag said...

Darling Zae ... many prayers go up for you and we celebrate the inch and turning five and how, as Psalm 139 says, you - Azaelea Wilson - have been fearfully and wonderfully made.

And dear One with the artistic fire already burning inside you - do you realize that the very first thing we learn of God in the Bible is that He is creative? "In the beginning God created ..." I celebrate this gift in you. Even more than that, I admire the fact that when you "colour outside the lines," you are already man enough to take responsibility for your actions, to apologize, to face the consequences of your actions. Right from the first couple of visits you made to the TH I have seen enormous amounts of potential in you, potential you will learn to harness and to channel into directions that will cause your life to develop in ways we can only speculate right now. Your Artist, in Whose image you have been created, would say these words to you:
" 'I say this because I know the plans that I have for you.' This message is from the Lord. 'I have good plans for you. I don’t plan to hurt you. I plan to give you hope and a good future.'" (Jeremiah 29:11 Easy-to-Read Version (ERV)).

And Alicia: Good mother you are.

Colleen said...

Why do your words always touch my heart so deeply?

Jamie said...

So beautiful.... I love your words straight from the heart....

Alicia said...

Thank you. You are truly missed, friend.

Alicia said...

The answer may be enveloped in the question. We just may be kindred friends.

Alicia said...

Thank you warmly, sweet friend.

Alicia said...

I wanted to tell you that when this was read aloud to him, his words (& tears) were: She knows me well. Thank you for embracing our family, love you.