Bamboletta Dolls

I was 30 when I saw a bamboletta doll for the first time on Etsy.  A frequent place that I would peruse. This is where I purchased the first one. While I was waiting for that shipment it was a very introspective time. Writing more childhood memories. I read her blogs, found other stores online that sold these dolls and in the process many letters were sent back and forth to the creator of the dolls. Christina Mattiello. A stay at home mama, working from her home in Cobble Hill, B.C. 
In addition to all the great communication, I was inspired by a project that she wrote about in her blog, Partnering her dolls with a village project in Guatemala. Moms will be in hand built huts with orphans and they hoped to give each of them a smaller bamboletta.
Project Somos.
At first she said that customs were the best way to go so I sent off a long list of different dolls with all hairstyles, clothes, ethnicity.

		Bamboletta Love VIEW SLIDE SHOW DOWNLOAD ALL

Christina’s reply upon receiving an email for 10 customs.
”I have to ask. I've had people buy 3 and then get them through the years as presents for their friends, but I've never had anyone want so many at once. I'm just curious about your festival of friends.. are they for your children to play with or are you a collector? I love to know where the dolls go :) “
Warmly,
Christina

“Thank You for asking!
There are so many stories that I could share.
These dolls are something I have waited for years.
I was telling my husband that I don't know you but its the sweetest blessing to have found someone with such a gift as yours in these creative expressions!
To be honest 10 is one of my favourite numbers and the dolls that I described will resemble or have the emotions behind some really amazing children (mine included) and friends whom I love dearly that I want to be reminded of often!”

She took the time to give each one a name, a hug, and then added a little treat in each box that was shipped, for all her dolls new homes. Over the last few years they have all visited or have slowly found new homes among friends. But it was a childhood dream of mine that Daryl gave me for mothers day that year. I loved passing them on to Azaelea.

Brilliant Scenery

I will be driving through the prairies this morning and enjoying the scenery, joining in with some friends to sort shoeboxes at the Samaritans Purse Warehouse. Looking forward to the day!
Waking up early to send the boys to school, I realized that all the months we lived on the acreage throughout the winter, there were no pictures of wonderful Hoar Frost! It’s Majestic!

Love is friendship set on fire

Welcome-No Vacancy

No Vacancy
Strings of thread attached to every limb,
Just another face in the crowd.
But to open the box and free the sorrow,
Now all we have is goodbye.
You are here, Welcome dear.
I love you Mother
Arms wide open.
I see your heart,
Why do you walk away?
There is a moment and then eternity,
When we see His love reigning in our lives.
I want to show you, not push you away.

.

When you take a closer look at this solo picture of her you will notice a vacancy in her eyes. It was not acting. I would often try looking into her eyes, and she would avert them to directly keep herself busy. This was a fear of belonging, that I lived with for years. Her own hauntings would continue until she found someone to love again, somewhere to be again, a safety after we left.
I was 4 when we celebrated our return home from here. This was our new life and hometown now. During a walk through the local mall, a photographer caught my attention. He was asking us to dress up! My Grandmother insisted that this would be fun. So I eagerly stripped off all my clothes, and to my shock pulled on the scratchy material. I did not notice the protests my mother said, or portrayed in her body language. It was fun to me while it lasted.
Today was a Thanksgiving day when I missed my extended family. I prepared a feast on the countertop in a portable oven. A roasted bird was presented to my family with the eagerness of the first meal ever made in our home. It felt just as if this second Thanksgiving that we celebrated was actually a Welcome Home. We belong here; we are safe, loved, and protected.
Grateful to have my family together.
Blessed beyond measure.

In the stillness of memories

My family growing up is Canadian, with American heritage
(I was the first to be born in Canada). We also hold Ukrainian traditions.
We celebrated 2-3 thanksgivings, 2-3 Christmases most every year with lots of meals together traditionally.

Our family was large.

We often would spend the festivities outside enjoying hay rides, hot chocolates, warm cider and handmade crafts.
There would be a roaring fire indoors for all of us to gather around and platters of food to enjoy buffet style.

Children would be scattered on the floor eating or sleeping,
& adults all over any furniture that was in the house.
It was not uncommon to see 6-8 people all over the sofas.

Gathering together from dawn until dusk, every weekend.

Once the weeks of December 21-Jan.7 came around there was many a day, spent all together. Our main celebrations for Christmas were spent in Salmon Arm. Our Thanksgivings (October & November) were the time to travel. Every year it was a different location. My favourite times were travelling to visit Grandparents, where my Uncles would also join us.

When we were little it was a rare occasion.

The smells
Oh the traditions
& knowing what to expect never changed.

As a Mom now myself, I knew what to prepare my children
& Husband for, each time we made the trek to their gorgeous part of the country.

Even though I didn't have a lot as a child, I always knew that my parents spent a lot of time preparing, growing and hunting for our food each year. They spent a lot of time preparing meals.

I learned to make up recipes at a young age and found especially baking to be so fulfilling. I knew my family would enjoy any treats that I made. They were delicious & inviting.

Christmas was the perfect time to practice all that I had learned, and I spent many hours baking and filling the counters with cookies, cakes and crisps from our harvested backyard orchard.

As much as I craved the time to share, I also really grasped the feeling at this time of year of hope. Hope that they loved me for who I am and all that I could be.

Every year the smells of evergreen would fill our home and after each snowfall the warmth of the familiar smell was in the air during our daily outdoors chores.

I can remember finally cutting down a tree one Year. We were visiting my Grandparents. I must have been about 7 years old at the time. My Uncle took me into the forest and we found a robust tree. Shaking off the snow hours later, cold and proud, we arrived at the front door ready.

That was the only present I had really wanted to give, to be able to cut one down and decorate it with our handmade ornaments and many bubbling lights.

We had so much fun decorating the tree. I now know we must have decorated that tree every day until Christmas. On Christmas eve after dinner I decided we needed to put more presents under the tree, so we found some empty boxes and wrapping paper.

In each box I would put a note in so it wouldn't be empty.
When we came out to put the presents under the tree there were surprises waiting from Santa. There were toys and new clothes just for us. We knew that our Grandparents had given all the gifts.
& in our joy we never said a word.

I will always cherish the memories I have of my few Christmases that I had as a child with my Grandparents. As I got older and started my own family it became a tradition to always spend at least one day of Christmas celebration with them whether in Alberta or B.C.

This is the first year that they are both gone now.

It is true that some of the fondest memories started when we were children that we have now each year. In the preparation of the Christmas meal, baking, the handmade ornaments, the tree, the songs, and the many friends to celebrate with our family.

Seasons of Giving

A pattern to follow:

cast on 42 on size US15 needles
for all size needles and gauges make sure the stitches are an even #

1. knit to end
2. knit 1 *YO k2tog* repeat ** to last st knit 1
3. repeat row 1 & 2 until garment is 18” or longer
4. last row-knit to end
5. 3 needle bind off. -Or bind off then mattress stitch ends together.

The simple motions of knitting often become a favourite gift.
For everything there is a season and this one is full of grace.
I have more time to create and less time to buy.
As I do, there is less of a need to keep, and more of a need to give away. I invite you to make one and give it away, Happy Knitting!

Pause for a moment

Slowly, I wash the table with familiar strokes, back and forth.
The crumbs fall to floor, and the splatters disappear.The plates and cups, and all breakfast remnants are cleared away. I walk over to the sink to start filling it with water, add a dollop of clear soap and watch as the suds begin to rise. It is quiet but there is a feeling as I pause for a moment of,  Nothing. 
Hoping now, I remember again.This time I am overwhelmed with memories at this table and many more tables that I have paused for some time at. The first plans for Christmas meals, the birthday parties, first solid foods, spilled milk.  Friends have gathered here.  Family have grown as each meal passes. I remember first meals with new family here. Walking back to the table and looking for all the familiar marks that it now bears. Cups that have knocked over and smashed on the table. Forks that have been fiddled with as someone waits ever so carefully for the food to be placed down in front of them. Hot pots that have scorched through the wood.
I have seen so many tables. Ones that I have been invited to and ones that I have invited myself to. Ones that hold dear memories that I will never know. There is my first meal alone on my own. Tables where stories were told that both inspired and empowered my thoughts. I welcome the past into my present sometimes.
Noticing that the table that is freshly washed is a little empty I fill it with a candle and a large bowl of gathered rocks that our boys have eagerly gave, for their collection. Now all collaborated into one bowl they all have stories as they wait for drinks, food or conversation to start sitting around the table.
“I found this one out back at Grandpa’s shop that time he built the go-cart with me.”
“Do you remember when we went on that old abandoned road and there was a creek where we threw stones. This is one of those throwing stones.”
” I found this one in front of our house, it’s shiny.” 
From the moment the boys make contact with their memories, the voices rise about who remembers more correctly until; their mom, little sister or even dad chime in with a “hush quiet, let’s all take turns.” It is still so quiet right now I can hear the bubbles deflating in the dish water, waiting.

“Please just try it, it might be tasty.” I say as the his eyes start darting nervously from the first unfamiliar glances at what’s for dinner. 

“Why?” Ethan asks, obviously needing to know that their is hope in this food.

“Because I tried, and its always good to try new things."

“Reeeealllly??”

I smile even in this moment that he paused because I know he will try it. When all is said and done there is always a- “oh ok it is good or no  thank you.”
We talk and laugh and are often quiet around this table. But if there is too long of a pause someone always has something to say.
There are memories of our children learning how to give thanks,  building crafts, learning to draw, writing their first letters.
Time is always on the move and it sure has epic stories to tell that began at a table..

Drawing memories, with many cups of coffee..

Asher

http://www.askasher.blogspot.com

This blog was an additional blog started for Asher, when he was 6 years old. Though all the answers were asked by family and friends, we did have a few occasional visitors. As his parents we would read the questions and in return type the answers for him. This week we had a fun time to reminisce with Asher, as we all gathered together to go through the one page blog together. It was a hearty laugh and fun to share, now that he is 5 years older.

Asher is 11 on Sunday, and I want to share 11 thoughts for him here:

1. One day you will leave home, explore this world on your own agenda, and I will live vicariously through your adventures. One day you will dream of your life here, lived in the past, and remember the adventures those first 11 years brought to our lives.

2. Today as you dream of your future, with the loves in your life, I see your eyes sparkle with all that it could be.

3. The day you were baptized, I remember your prayer, with tears in your eyes.

4. I adore your hugs, from growing arms that become bigger with each day it seems. As you rise up and grow past my eyes I now need to wait for you to sit so I can smell that ever familiar waft from the top of your head.

5. Your sensitivity speaks volumes to many hearts.

6. Keep pursuing that which you are good at. Rediscover lost arts too. Such as drawing, drumming and guitar. Remember that band of yours that was going to put out an album? Ethan was on keyboards too. Jamming Coconuts!

7. Asher I know you love to draw and the 3D is amazing. Within the many hours that you spend drawing, animating, and writing instructions you encourage your siblings to join in with all those discoveries.

8. Asher you encourage Ethan to continue with his Manga drawing, Kai's space drawings that are promptly folded into spaceships, and Azaelea's attempts at experiencing colours.

9. The fierce approach and determination to standing up for your friends has taken you aback this last year and I see you surrounding yourself with those that have the same views.

10. This last year your soft voice has taken on a new tone. One with more wisdom as the year has passed and we have great questions, answers, and discussions about life. In these discussions we discover misconceptions that peers have led you to believe too. In all this I see your curiosity come alive asking more and more in-depth questions.

11. You are You Asher and I love your sense of humour, and contagious laugh, and when you smile hard enough I see a dimple under your left eye. Looking forward to watching this new year go by full of blessings.

Happy Birthday!

Twinkle little Star

Little birds

I woke up this morning, with a song flittering through my mind such as two little birds that fly in circles around each other. Remembrance day service at the school today, or gather our little resources and find all the mismatched boots, mitts, scarves and toques for this ever increasing chilly weather and growing children??
Both of these tasks were more important than ever as we tried our best to pack healthy lunches with the little our fridge, cupboards and shelves offered. Oh goodness this is a ache that stays burning bright with hope. I pray for multiplying blessings for each and everyone that feels this incredible sense of insurmountable worry.
Determined to be still and breath, knowing that this is the peace that will carry me through the day. I sat down to write and the words flowed from my fingers bringing light to how I have been feeling. How long it has been sunk down so deep in, the core of my heart, that the cracks were letting it out full force.
Simplify my thoughts, bringing closer a reality that this too shall pass. Time does not stand still in the angst it keeps carving away into the present moment as those moments pass by sometimes with an ever increasing pace.
I was genuinely relieved  that there were no chores to be completed. The younger children were playing in soft tones over a play set they enjoyed. Just as the 2 older boys were heading out the door to school and would be stepping on stage now within the hour. I had little to offer them in the way of patience to find matched winter accessories.. Then I read this email that I received from a dear friend. A blessing, to calm, add warm fuzziness, to brighten a day. and share with you.

~Alicia, I'm sure you are feeling the blessings that come from being obedient and honest & real in your exposure into the depths of your personhood. You are a "stone" that has taken a lot of rough abrasions( a serious understatement) and is becoming a refined jewel, so very precious and delicate and beautiful!  It blessed my heart to see how much you've grown since the beginning of our relationship. 
God will continue to heal your wounds, You are clearly a testimony of God faithfully and gentlely shaping a person into His likeness with Mercy and Grace and Love. I pray that you feel the Lord's presence in a rich way, and feel at peace.~

Its a deep well in my heart issue over a wealth crutch. That is a simplified comparison. I feel challenged by the established rules about where to live, how to get through low points and continue through the rough patches without grasping so hard to the definition of “success.” I realize that this is what simple living is all about. Those who have chosen to break out of the mould per se must be different, not buying into society’s standards and continue to share overall goodness. Be it in life giving words, actions or wares with those in need. By doing what we love rather than doing what’s going to get us the biggest actions, attentions, or paycheques each month. Within the end of this statement I can only hope that I hang onto the words that bring peace.
Because I will continue to believe that “Everything will be alright”

Remembrances

Click click the knitting needles chimed with a sweet song I discovered. As the melody smoothed out to a soothing tune, and the soft wool ran through my fingers, I paused to hear the momentum of the song end. My mind had continued in turmoil while the morning past and now it relaxed. Often in the quiet, when there is a slow pace at home, there is a calm before the storm.
I whispered aloud how lovely it was that; today my daughter slept the morning through and through.
Watching out the window the sun shone bright. A cloud here and there wisps through the sky that still let the brightness of blue brightly compliment. Perhaps later we shall welcome a midday walk?
The music continued to change and the time slowly went by as I tiptoed through the house trying to keep the solitude and peace.
I found a favourite nook to pick up my knitted pattern but placed it down beside myself again and decided to write in response to a goodbye post of a dear friend.
Entitled: Beautiful Memories.
Hold fast to your remembrances of loved ones.
There is an indescribable delight when our lives intertwine with poetry.
It did not take long before I was lost in thought again, enjoying memories and catching my breath with others.
The thoughts continue as I read an email from a friend that I do not 'know'. This leaves me with a profound hope of what is to come with this writing that I am trying to encounter.
The new-found knitting patterns and one old faithful are becoming a collection similar to recipes of comfort foods.
I rely on these when there is time to invest in stocking the wool chest. While our little daughter quietly wakes up and joins me in my nook, I begin the day. We shall eat and be merry, walk in the briskness of this fall day, and go through the motions while the day folds into afternoon.
We will pause for cuddles and a story or many….
I believe this is where I will go and join her and leave with some familiar poetry, I wrote together with Daryl.

Remembrances
In the stillness
In the quiet place
I can feel you near.
You are forever
I am only a moment
May I see your face?
What I know now
You have always known
You see deeper to that unseen place.
Quiet my heart to the anguish of pain
Move me closer
Please break these chains.
You are the one that saved my soul
My empty life now overflows
When I see that all is new
I know that I am not the same
I see the cross where Jesus died
I see the tomb that opened wide
And now I know your coming back to take me home.

Azaelea

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Time seemed to pause for a only a moment when I first saw you, now where did the time go?
Happy Birthday Azaelea Katie Rae!

MercyMe “I Can Only Imagine”

I miss the times when the songs would rise, as Daryl led worship. This one song among many others, had me in tears every time.
Hold fast to your remembrances of loved ones ,There is an indescribable delight when our lives intertwine with poetry. - I love this! Beautiful.

Welcome November 1

Today is the beginning of my favourite month!

I start thinking about…decorating~creating crafts~Birthdays for 2 of our children~baking~gifts~family pictures~cards~lost addresses~new have to try and old faithful recipes~soups~comfort foods~rich deep chocolates~fondues~evergreen tree branches~travelling or stay home~sweaters~knit accessories~homemade candles,~essential oils~baking breads,~roast turkeys~music….

I would love to hear of some traditions that you enjoy!

Movember

It’s that time again. The moustache month! Where the 4 o’clock shadow is all day every day for the month of November. To raise awareness for Men's cancers and put your best foot forward.

The question is: Who’s joining in with Daryl?

http://blog-of-beards.blogspot.com/2010/07/impressive-i-think-so.html

Sunday October 31, 1999

Still waiting for our very first son’s birth.

Rainbow Memories

28 years ago I met forever friends. Mary & Angela.

We soon became known as the little red triplets.

The years have gone by, as we have seen our lives intertwine, we have had many stories over the years of just finding each other. At random events and unexpectedly in large cities such as Vancouver or Calgary.

Last year Dear Ange. (far left) started gaining more popularity with her store on Etsy and was featured frequently with another lovely friend

Look at this gorgeous treasury recently published for the fall season.

Mary and I have many more memories and she is my favourite Hippy. Today I am forever thankful for the sisters they have always been in my life.

“At last the 3rd triplet has been found... dancing among the trees, dipping her toes in rivers and streams, singing to the heavens.... she was never lost, she was here all along, sharing herself with the world so we could feel her love everywhere we go. **HUGS and much love to you and your family.**
Thank you.”

*Keyholes*

 

I enjoy taking my children to see where I grew up. Exploring the surrounding waters, walking trails, and mountains. We have spent many hours visiting family, the beach, fruit stands, orchards, and exploring the hills. Sometimes though my heart aches for what they will not have there as children..More time. Because every time we leave it is just an experience, not home. I miss my home town today. The place where I was born and raised. Here where we live is our home now as a family. Instead if our travels capture their memories now, they will have many reasons to keep going back.

Christmas Island captured by this friend

Salmon Arm Wharf

Seasons of Rest

In the circle of Life we watch the seasons. 

Now I lay me down to rest, my weary back, my heavy chest. This I lay me quietly down to sleep, where I know you watch over me.

The trees are resting standing bare, the leaves that clung through out the year, have floated down to lay with me. Amongst the brown trees and grass, resting well under a blanket of white.

You see me for me, renewing my heart, life and mind.

You reach into my past, present, and future with a mighty wind that settles all that lie near.

The tree of life that grew so fast, reached its roots down too far, it shall not uproot, or be pruned, but will wither now as a new vine begins to grow nearby.

You love me for me. That’s how new life pushes out the dead leaves in our lives. 

His life, because of its glorious power and beauty, brushes away sorrow, death, and fury.

I dream during my rest of this life with Jesus.  If there is dead parts that need to float away, so be it.

The renewal, the fresh green that I awake to in the beginning of the new season will water my soul.

Sprinkle newness, grow faith.

“You are mine, you are valued, you are precious to me.”

I want to run in the freedom of His love.

I awake to the trees swaying in the wind, the wind brings a new season, a season of hope.

Believe my heart, I am longing, to know the forgiveness is true.

At the beginning of Psalm 23:1
I hear my heart longing still.

"The Lord is my shepherd; I have all that I need."

I begin to feel his love as;
(2) "he lets me rest in green meadows; he leads me beside peaceful streams."

As I rest and my mind may follow with clarity.
(3) he renews my strength, he guides me along right paths, bringing honour to His name."

Then as all the seasons are in full circle and I have been carried on this journey, the one who created me is right there.
(4) Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for YOU are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me. (NLV)

I am free in His Love, I am dear to His heart.

Cherished by the Everlasting.

Second Album Released Today!!

I love when he gives himself a great  lifetime Birthday gift!
4 years ago today the first album,

Still Hallelujah was released.

To hear the new album,

Let Someone Love You
Visit http://www.hereboymusic.com

 15 years ago today I met the man who would be my Husband.
It was his Birthday the next day, Oct. 21 and he wanted to invite us all to a fireside party in Three Hills.
I was getting rather familliar with this small town already, our dear friend Ranae lived there and we would visit her amongst other new friends at the Prairie High School.
It was still all new and when I saw him, for an instant, all I could see was his blue eyes lighting up the room.
 I was painfully shy, so very shy that his first impression was of myself~ just a flash of red hair, running away..

Thank you for being part of the soundtrack of my life.
Happy Birthday Daryl

Moments

For this one moment I need you near, in this moment please pray for me.

I feel the waves wash over me when ever the tears well up.

When all I can ask is why.

This moment you are seeing me, deeper.

Where my heart lies.

This moment I need a peace that will blanket me with the comfort of hope..

Poetry paints an image of tears falling free spilling over like leaves in the autumn season.

Inside I am renewing, and waiting, being apart of me in this moment.

Colors flare as the ground rests, lay my burdens down.

A moment, then forever when we touch the lives of those we hold dear .

"Mom you know that Banana Bread you like to make for after school?
Well it's basically Awesome!"

Oh so filling & very wholesome, here is our favorite banana recipe to share.

Ingredients:

1 1/3 cups whole wheat flour

1 cup of (natural sugar cane), or raw sugar

2 tsp baking powder

1 tsp baking soda

1/2 tsp sea salt

2 big, or 3 medium over ripe smashed bananas

1 Tbsp ground flax seed mixed with 3 Tbsp water, and set aside to thicken for a few min.

1 tsp vanilla extract

a half cup of chocolate chips or substitute with:

(1/4 cup raisins &

1/4 cup chopped walnut halves or another nut you like)

To Make:

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Mix 1 1/3 cups flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. 
In a separate bowl, mix the wet ingredients. Add the wet to the dry. 

Pour into a large bread pan that is lightly oiled. Bake for about 40 minutes, or until the top is golden and a toothpick comes out clean. Let cool for 10 minutes before slicing.

Enjoy with your favorite Autumn cuppa!

This week...
I saw myself twice, once in the mirror and the next in a dream.
I asked for help, it was time to help me see the woman in the mirror and the child in the dream.
With Prayer and counseling the words lead me to and from Ephesians 5:26.. protected, healed, comforted, loved.
Intertwined with this life and once upon a time. I discovered that, in this peaceful transition, what I already knew.
I am not 'your' child anymore, no I am a Woman. With this, I am after a heart so pure, only my one true protector has it.
"Where were you when they told the news? Chances are you already knew."
This week someone stopped me in my tracks with a realization that for once I can say to myself this that for once I can actually hold and comfort that child. Through prayer of healing, this child is no longer, and it is blanketed by a secure comfort of a life now lived. A life of faith, of thanksgiving, of adoration, of love. Forgiven those with a wholeheartedness as I let go. Left behind are the burdens, and baggage dragged to the cross, with every emotion, every toy from a life of struggle. By the time it's up on that hill at the foot of the cross there are no handles left to hang on to, with hands achey and my back bent in strife. Down there.. where it will be laid forever, walk away, do not turn back to stare on the pile of mud, but rather think on the Forever Freedom.

A Giveaway

In the true nature of bringing in the harvest.
Of having a festive Thanksgiving meal,with Family and Friends.
"I want to share a giveaway."
During our time this summer with a local CSA I had the chance to also purchase wool. The fleecy sheep that run around in the fields are very well taken care of and free range.
The shorn fleece is then taken to an antique woolen mill, where it is washed & carded.
The fantastic lopi that I have in abundance has been part of our Thanksgiving feast this weekend as I am now done knitting a sweater..again.

Thank you for sharing your Thanksgiving moments. :)
-I left an announcement in the comments of this post.

Friends & Followings

The boys come home often from school with wild stories about how they are going to travel to far off places and bring back treasures. 

~They are going to do this when they are older and have lots more poles to build rafts out of. 

But first they need to go recycle bottles and plastics to help save up for their green fuel.~

It always strikes me how nostalgic this feels for me.  

Fortunately the clubhouse is in our backyard, and the trampoline launches each child into a universe of imagination.

Just in case they read this in 10 years, 'less or more' here's to you Brothers, following your friends, 

Thank you for sharing through your eyes a tremendous creativity that speaks volumes! 

This much I know for certain, the years sure fly by too fast!

Reflections of Thankfulness

Sometimes there is a grand adventure. Sometimes I just want to escape, to the great outdoors. hike in the mountains, camp in the trees, walk barefoot on the moss and lie down to look up to see the sky peeping out between the forest of treetops.

















alone.

















Sometimes when the night is quiet and there is a coffee in reach, while the quiet mounts and I feel a sigh of relaxing escape my body, I am thankful that it is late, there are no restraints and I can write, or knit or stretch for no reason.


When all that is building in my mind and soul finds its way to the top with no words to describe it, sometimes the hurt and the anger emerge. and I ask Why was I created.

I am thankful for the answers that whisper softly in my ears.
~I love you child and you are precious to me. The dear heart I have knit together is full of kindness and grace, you're


gentle and fierce. I love everything about you no matter how you say, Why am I here, why did you make me this way. Always know that I knew you through every minute of your life and you are welcome to ask why.
sometimes.


This year I counted some blessings too.

Music.
47 balls of yarn.
106 sets of needles and crochet hooks inherited from my Grandmother.
22 boxes left to unpack.
Photography & arts.
4 children & 2 parents that are happy to call this new town, and new home. Home.
5 weeks of falling leaves.
1 Husband who is following a dream come true.
15 eggs provided in a timely situation.
1 Kai build.
2 Asher portfolios.
1 Azaelea that dances for any song.
1 quizzical Ethan that loves numbers as much as his Mom.
4 boxes of art supplies.
5 beds for our family to sleep on.
10 blogs that I read regularly.
Friends.

A Little Time to Knit

Thank you Christine,
for capturing my love for knitting as I finished this sweater.

Thank you Friends,
who travel this journal with me.
Truly you are an encouragement.

Thank you Karin,

who has been reading from the beginning.
I have spent time reading and listening to all the responses,
not always with my eyes, also with my heart.

I hope that you know that your words are peaceful,
uplifting, joyful. I see your heart when you share.

Happy Birthday Kai

Three hours ago

I was sitting with my children, relaxing after a full morning of unpacking, just knitting away. As I paused and saw all their faces so intent on the project they were working on, Kai asked; "Mom are you going to take a picture of that sweater when you are done?" "Yes that would be a great idea Kai!" Then as I finished the last stitch and lifted it into the air, there was a gasp that escaped my chest. I had dropped a stitch about 6 inches from the bottom. "That's OK mom, Ethan reassured me, we'll keep you company while you re knit that part." I couldn't help feeling that sense of relief, like a big bear hug from his kindness, listening with my heart I heard the patience that was his gift.
It is completely knitted now.

I was reminded of three years ago.
We were waiting for the birth of our daughter, a little sister that had been an answered prayer for our Ethan. He had also asked Santa to please send him a little sister.
This was a long wait for him, and he learned that patience was a gift.

A little time to share my 10 delights for this season

 1. I finished another tiny sweater. It was lovingly knitted then given to our youngest niece.
A mini version of the original Shalom cardigan

I had been working on the first one and found somethings with my needle size challenging, so took the positive high road and made the mini version.

2. In our family we have many Birthdays to celebrate in the Fall. Kai will be first, he is very excited to be 6.

3. Summer is over and school has resumed. The quiet mornings have been tender times with my daughter. Sometimes on a rare occasion I can sit with her and knit while she snuggles in and watches a favorite video.

4. A new Home, A new job and it's a blank canvas starting over. With a new atmosphere and witty new projects.

5. Morning black coffee.

6. Sleeping soundly Saturday mornings.

7. Listening to the new Live Priscilla Ahn album.

8. There are plenty of trees in our backyard, with lots of playing, biking and new friends, the kids adventures outside are fascinating..they have grand ideas about changing our garage into their shop, or a theatre or a skate park.

9. Crunchy leaves, piles of leaves and blowing leaves, the crispness in the air is so refreshing.

10. Daryl & I took a temperament test from a great book 'Please Understand Me 2' by David Kiersey. We both had to take it twice. The second time it was truly eyeopening. A composer and a counsellor/healer have been living together seeing our lives richly emerge. Where with some new inspiration and information we can actually now understand each other in just those quiet moments more.

Please friends share a delight or two from your season, I would enjoy that.

Stay Here With Me

Found you up in your tree again
Tried to talk you down
Baby you know I understand
Sometimes you don't wanna be on the ground

Pretty little flower you are
Barely holding on in the wind
It's hard to see you falling apart
Paying the price for someone's sin

Well I can't see the future
And I can't turn back time
All we got is this moment
I hope it lasts a little while
So wrap your arms around me
Let me hold you til we sleep
Tomorrow will be a better day
Just stay here with me
Oh just stay here with me

Sometimes the tide comes in too high
And carries you away
Sometimes you can't see the sky
For all the clouds and rain

Well I can't see the future
And I can't turn back time
All we got is this moment
I hope it lasts a little while
So wrap your arms around me
Let me hold you til we sleep
Tomorrow will be a better day
Just stay here with me
Oh just stay here with me
Just stay here with me

Daryl Wilson

Missing Link

The pages of the book I was reading seemed to be just what I needed, in this small fragment of time, that I had to enjoy the ebb & flow as my mind relaxed.
Outside the wind had picked up and I could see the crispness as the leaves swished and swirled before they lightly fell to the ground. My green knitting lay beside my left hand and the book was in my right, while the steam from a fresh coffee caused me to pause all that I was doing and grasp it. The gentle smile I saw on my husbands face revealed that it had been placed there some time ago, quietly as to not disturb my thoughts.
It did not take long before I was lost in thought again. Are the trees that stand tall and sway in the wind the symbols of our strength? This is the time that we spend unveiling memories, gaining footing, trusting friendships, that are intimately and ornately intertwined with the loves in our lives.

“Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing
that the testing of your faith produces endurance, and let endurance have its perfect
result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing” (James 1:2-4).

The thoughts continue as I begin the daily rounds, the recipes of comfort foods splayed out before me on the computer screen, new ingredients, more filling staples, additions to our pantry, and soups that will be hearty on chilly days. While our little daughter quietly goes about helping me throughout the day and we take time to play, and snuggle before her sleep time. I cherish the flow of the days with routine. It feels like the missing link when I can be in tune with my thoughts again. Then our boys will arrive home from school with flushed cheeks and cold noses, hoping for a cuppa hot cocoa and a cuddle or two.
I believe this is where I will go back to my knitting, enjoying fall.

It's that crisp wonderful time that I enjoy, Fall!

I decided it was best to recycle some thoughts from the same time last year.
After we moved again it felt more grounded for our family. Though more thoughtful, and silent at times. There was plenty of time to reflect on our thanksgiving.

Recycled impacts from a year gone by.

-A friend of the same cloth that has similar threads that have been sown close to yours, is truly still the most unique friend to have.

-Taking a step of faith is not as easy as cleaning house.

-To live laugh and love is the best medicine for the heart.

-Truthfully expressing my heart in my deepest thoughts, is prayers.

-Therapy by myself can include folding laundry and doing dishes. Even if it is time consuming at least no one else wants to do it with me.

-To believe I can/will lose a relationship is a heartfelt sadness.

-Farmers have markets that attract artists. I like to visit these markets and support the artists and the farmers. Where baskets are filled with their yummy creations that I get to take home.

-Writing without ceasing is going to form stories that need to be told.

-Secrets of the heart that dig deep into the core of a family, have been kept too long and they need to be shared after decades of silence.

-Quirky is as quirky does..

-4 children bring and have so many different love languages they are eager to learn.

-A family that is built on trust prays earnestly loves deeply and walks faithfully.

-Sometimes a whole season may pass without truly experiencing any element of your surroundings because there is so much going on, right there in your moments.

-recycling older posts is a reminder of how my years are full of memories.

Sweet Reminders

There are times when I find something that is in a search for inspiration. It speaks volumes to me simply through experience. I found one author who was writing about her angst now raising a daughter. She spent her own childhood being without a Father. Falling into endless downward spirals, and childhood abuses. In her writing she compared her seeking, to her blessings of having a husband that sees that need in their daughters life. She seeks reminders of her life as it is now. So joyful, blessed & full of life, with her husband that adores all the children in a true approach, that makes her heart skip a little. After sharing about her childhood & all the measures she took to be noticed through her years growing up, the author ended her blog with. "Do you have a daughter?"

Here is part of one Father's response;
"As a husband/father who has dealt with countless hours of counseling in the past, helping my wife to overcome “absent father” issues from her childhood, it has brought the following to light for me personally:
Little girls need their Daddy’s. Daddy’s need their wives to push them/encourage them to do one-on-one activities with their little girls.
It’s tough, trying to break a past generational curse of absentee-fatherism… But, I know deep inside that every little TINY thing that I do to encourage my daughter is ultimately building towards her future. Moms & Wives encourage Dads to spend time with your daughters. It can ultimately make all the difference IN THE WORLD in the future life of your little girl."

Staircases

Pause at the bottom. -When we really pause and share our thoughts are we taking a step of faith?

Taking the first step up. -A step on this new staircase that leads to a deeper trust.

Continuing a few more steps. -There is more appreciation for love than for food.

Running all the way up a full flight.-When there are times we runaway only to want to be found.

At the top & pausing again.  -Something like the lost sheep theory that strikes a chord with our faith.

Meeting a friend at the top & planning to go down. - Join me in this journey.

Carefully taking steps down, & trying not to trip each other. -You will see more clearly of what this life has to offer once the veil is lifted.

Counting every step as it reaches a new level. -Speaking truths, only to be quieted by questions.

Now at the bottom again.- It is a turn in our view when we see the whole picture.

Leaving the staircase. -This is a walk in the forest. A new relationship with time, with true searching.

I found you in this place again. -Peace.

"Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase." ~Martin Luther King Jr.

Everyday has minutes

I was reading a lot of blogs in the last day and was fascinated by the amount of life that is recorded. From amazing recipes, to giveaways, to stories of life in the mountains and in the prairies. I decided to pause and really grasp today in this very minute.
My house is quiet as I write, the children are sleeping in after a fun summer night. There are plans to discover a new hiking trail today, pack a picnic and soak in these last days before August is over. Our little girl and youngest has been learning big girl tasks and dancing more. It has been a short summer more because I am enjoying these 'last' baby days, savoring that this stage is also coming to an end. Though Fall is my favorite season of rest, this summer will be the last one that I have babies to raise up, last summer carrying a baby everywhere we are, last diapers. From this moment on everyday will be firsts in this big wide world for all 4 children learning from our careful instruction. This is an emerging moment, where I know close to my heart, this summer will be cherished and remembered for many years.

Living Water

Today is the day that I prayed for you.
Yesterday is past, tomorrow still has time to start.
I stood watching you in the glass reflection, you paused with me and smiled for a instant.
Today is the day I prayed for you.
Do you feel your heart healing, & your mind relaxing?
It's going to be in a minute that will pass, or perhaps an hour that comes and goes, please remember.
I love you to pieces and I am so pleased to know that you have walked this journey with me. You opened my eyes to the loving hands and hearts that surround my life, believe with me that this will only be one prayer, the rest has bathed you in waiting.
Notice this passage:

"On the last and greatest day of the Feast, Jesus stood and said in a loud voice, 'If anyone is thirsty, let him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him.'" -John 7:37-38

Feel it now? Streams of living water for you~(for me).

June

This month is one for reflection. On having our 13th wedding anniversary, 'by myself' I was challenged to wonder why do I celebrate milestones in my life. That is something that I get so excited about, a week before a Birthday, a anniversary, Christmas , even groundhogs day, I feel myself getting chatty about the date that is approaching, and wondering if anyone else even knows that date is on it's way..
Is it the date of the month or the year or is that there was a common sense to how meaningful I had made the date, over the years..this is something that I love, remembering dates!
This year for a celebration of Fathers day we sent D to Vancouver to fish on the ocean with a friend in the channels between the mainland and Vancouver island. It was exhilarating for him to pull up salmon and crabs and other such sea life and bring home to his family 20 pounds of filet salmon to share.
Simply sharing all I really wanted to do this week was pack up for our next move and have a salmon dinner with my family, but life as it often does got in the way, new jobs have started
and we are now hoping to camp in a cabin for the summer and store most of our possessions away
until we have a home of our own again. So much has happened this month, and I am thrilled, it's often hard to share in a nutshell. It would be far more detailed over coffee.
This evening I received the most heartfelt love filled email that left me knowing this life here and now and the everyday is worth the celebration every step we take together.
There is so much more to share...when I have a little more time...

..Health, Happiness & Loss

2 snowstorms this month and 2 trips to B.C. has kept us entirely on our toes to say the least.

A couple weeks into April I felt the need to fly out again, to be by my Grandma's side.

When I booked the flight on Saturday there was no mention that she was

most likely only going to survive 1 or 2 more weeks..

The first night I arrived, was her first night in extended care.

She had been placed in a convalescent room to begin with and had a terrible night,

so within 24 hours they transferred her  to a palliative room..

In the hours that I spent by her side, I felt the need to sing, to cry and to pray..

All her work was done as she faded through the hours..

After returning home for a few days, we celebrated my Birthday Apr. 17

It was a gorgeous day. So peaceful,..and the very same hands that helped deliver me 33 years ago to the day,

died peacefully that same evening. I loved her more than words can express.

We all travelled together for a semi small goodbye reception.

I wanted to share this with you because I believe my lack of experience with loss (through death) numbs my mind a bit, as I hold on to the memories. and I just wanted to share with friends who read here...

When I was this age I never dreamed about being 33 now, wow it shows me how time flies,
when I watch our 4 children change & grow so fast. 
Celebrating my Birthday & sweet joys with my family today! 4/17/77

Ponderings & Wonderings

Wondering if its time & possible to change the look

of this blog, you know maybe I could add a little flare...

Pondering how it is possible that 

Home Church just hits me straight in the heart.

We had such a full Sunday. The theme was overcoming the feelings of shame, because there is no shame for those who are in Christ.

After meeting together, sharing, praying, & eating;

Our care group swooped down on a house that was to me like a reminder of 'coming home'.

This house was what I was raised in, right down to the carpets, broken faucets, and very full 

looking tables and counters, unkept, uncared for, because those that were living there 

were lost, and needing to be loved. 

This was just the same for the man that was living at this house, needing to know that he is accepted, loved, forgiven..

When I got a chance to meet him (a new friend), what hit me the hardest was that he was a complete look-alike to my step-father...

so I hugged him.

 

Time to freshen up!

Starting with a good hair chop.

Music in the air, and learning how to bake bread.

  Moving on to simplifying cupboards and unpacking the rest of our home,.

All in hopes for that Spring fever! 

I Do Miss These...

Tallest is Asher
Recorded him for 5 years here;
along with Ethan, Kai in the middle and their
cousin Mya.
Shortest is Azaelea.
This is my shy attempt of keeping this memory close.

Days go by...

This last week has left us lost and found again.
We were expecting to be a little lost, and then the
move went so well.
Many happy hands helped us from start to finish.
We were completely moved in one day,
 leaving another day to clean. So very thankful!
As we set about unpacking here in our new home, it
has been so pleasant and we are almost done!
What we found was a new adventure. An answered prayer.
Excited to see what is next while we are settling in here.
It feels like a cabin on an acreage, a well hidden abode.
I love listening to the children discovering more and more, that they
enjoy being out in the country, one thing is missing though
they say. A lake!
Today as the boarded the schoolbus for the very first time, I cried
just watching how much joy they had bounding up the stairs of the bus.
As they drove away, it was very clear that days are going by eagerly.