47

One of my favorite numbers that I see all the time is 47.

...3

Cannot stand the number 3.

I want to live to be 47 but I never want to remember being 3.

Watching my sons as they have been this age is amazing. They have become who they are and developed a unique personality during the time that they were this age and I hope that as they grow older they will remember how wonderful it was to be 3.

Our youngest son will be 4 next month and the best words that I heard in my life were all in the same day;

"I will always love you even if I am not 3 anymore mommy." Kai

"Can I give you 3 hugs tonight mom?" Ethan

"I have always loved you mom, I love you I love you I love you" Asher

"DaDaDa" Azaelea

If Only
I could speak clearly the word pictures that are thought in my head everyday.
The most peaceful times are when those around me are enjoying conversation
and I can just be a listener.
I saw something so tangible in a store this week. It made dreams come alive in my head.
Of gardens, and tea parties, of Delicious feasts of all that we enjoy.
SO I brought it home and welcomed it home. But there was no real place for it.
Then I saw gardens and herbs, lavender fields and organic food with wine being served. My answer was to create a space, plant a space in my home for it. Plant a new atmosphere that my imagination has added a whole new outlook to.
First there needed to be some clearing away of all the clutter that had accumulated.
Its all gone....now for a fresh start.
Is it impossible to live without fully living right here in the place that we call home.
Because to know that it is possible to find people in our lives that want to live fully, and celebrating with me, makes my heart soar.
I can ask out loud or just keep heading in the right direction believing that it will be created.
My children need to be surrounded by their family but they also need to learn how important rich relationships are and how they grow with us like a vine.
I want to create these word pictures for them so they can sit with me and create their own.
Children and Art as an equation is gorgeous.
So sit with me as I try to paint a hopeful picture of what is to come.
Children's paintings on richly coloured walls. With wood and stone and a herb garden creating atmosphere. minimal furniture and intimate gatherings of friends as we enjoy the company and delicious sharing of what we bring to the table.

Promise

June 14 is our Anniversary so this promise is written years ago.
A promise that I have tried so hard to own. To believe. To promise to myself.
My son was baptized today, I listened as he believed what he was going to do was a step of faith.
I watched as he owned his step of faith. My heart soared.
And then when I read this writing now, that was written so long ago
there is a step of faith that I was taking then that I never knew and yet I believed....

Strings of Thread
Attached to every limb
Just another face in the crowd
Many faces to hide the pain
The tears wash away all traces of joy
Lost feelings welling up inside
Turn to what was once yours
One look
Reflections of yesteryear's
Masked are those memories
Hidden now with effort & with dust
But to open the chest & free the sorrow
What wonder would lie ahead
Among the wild flowers
Love chased down
Captured in a moments glance
Grasp hold my love I want to be with you
Through whatever it takes
Your eyes sparkle with all the life
As the music awaits my craving ears
One kiss encircled I know forever
One Love
my Husband
You.

11 Years plus and counting......